


A Dip to Remember

by cowboychris



Series: A Series of Essays on the Relativity of Morality [1]
Category: Gravity Falls, Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
Genre: Anal Vore, Drug Use, Grease - Freeform, Guns, M/M, Pizza, Pizza time, Pool, Vape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 12:19:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5456321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowboychris/pseuds/cowboychris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper goes out to the pool and has a wacky adventure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Dip to Remember

**Author's Note:**

> The is the start of the pizza-era of my writing career. I was young, yet this fic is still beautiful. I cry every time I read this. It is an emotional masterpiece. Truly a statement on the human condition.

a TObey x dppy fic.

Tobey went outside to the motel pool. It was 4:20.666 in the morning, he had just finished smoking a blunt and combing his bangs. He didn’t have a swimsuit, so he was going to the pool anyway. He had just dumped Sandman into the pool, and smoked a blunt.

“Good riddance.” He sneers, putting out the blunt on his greasy bangs. He pulls out a pizza box from his ass, mouth watering. “Pizza time.” He says happily, and begins to open the box.

The smell of shitty pizza attracts Dipper, who thinks it’s Bill comin to play some tricks on him. He wants that triangle dick. He comes outside, expecting triangle dong to be right in his fucking face, but is sorely disappointed. He sees Tobey licking a slice of pizza, deep in pleasure. The grease was sliding into his delicate regions. Dipper is fascinated by this sight, thinking it to be a Good Ol Mystery. He goes closer, inspecting the sight. 

“Is it some sort of emo spider man?” He asks, consulting the journal. He opens a page on emo spider man, reading it carefully. The page talks about Pizza Time, and he digs on this. Tobey starts to gyrate his hips as mysterious piano music begins to play. Things are getting saucy, or is that just the tomato sauce from the pizza?

He looks down, seeing red on his crouch. He screams, thinking it to be blood, but upon further inspection (and tasting it) he finds it to be bloody tomato sauce. Tobey lifts his nose into the air, sniffing, and sees the tomato sauce on Dippy’s crotch. He lunges toward it, like a lion ready to consume its prey. He grabs a hold of Dipper’s front pants and rips them off with his bare teeth.

“Now dig on this.” He states boldly, throwing the pants aside after chewing on them for a couple of minutes. Dipper is upset, yet intrigued. He screams and pukes, yet the only thing that comes out is a slice of pizza.

“Pizza time!” Tobey screams, ripping the pizza from mid-air and devouring it one gulp. Little does he know that that pizza contained Mary Jane. The weed. Not the person.

He became high as Fcuk. “420 is over tho.” He states, looking at the time. It’s 4:35. This is no time for blazing. Dipper, meanwhile, is distracted by a strange bubbling in the pool. he is concerned and thinks it may be one of the mysterious tricks of the mystery twins. the twins being bill and dark bill. tobey laughs at him and flips his bangs in that emo style.

“cmon dip dop, scared of getting wet?” he whisperes as he p[alyerfully gives dupper a shove. Dipler is surprised by the sudden physical contact as he had just been being pleased in his nether regions by this mesterious stpider man figure. he stumbles back and falls into the pool which smells vaguely of cheese

suddnely, diiper feals sand filtering around him. more than usually is present in the sandy pools of gravity sand. suddenly it begins to solidify and close in around him and suddenly he is drowned in sand and he cant even braeth except for sand

tobey screams. like that signature scream u know the one. HYHEAYHAEHYEHAYEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

tobey gets on his edgy black spider man suit and pulls out a gun. he shoots bullets really fast and stipider-man comes out of the pool shack because there are many tobies and then they all come together like the power rangers to defeat sandman and they all fight sandman but sandman absorbs the other tobies souls and becomes more powerful and turns into omegay sandman and pulls out a gun and shoots christina for being a whiny nagging poop everyone gets pizza to celelbrate.

tobey macguire realizes there is only one way to save the young boy that is actually 19,0000 years old. he must enter tsandmands ass. it is the only way. he has his tobey clones get a vat of lube and he dunks himself in to get maximally greasey. he also takes some grease from his greasy hair and rubs it all over himself. he is so greasy. man. that is a lot of grease. ok so he dives into sandmans pool and finds his way up his butt. there is so much sand here. its a vast cave.

exploring this vast cave he grabs a torch from the wall and sees a corpse with spiky hair and a firey black tshirt. wow tobey thinks, that must have been President Fieri, who went missing decades ago after saving the UNitied States during the Fourth World War. Tobey gets a gun and summons his buddy Shadow the Hedgehog to back up him. Shadow smokes a vape and is totally edgy. toby cuts himself on the edge and begins to bleed black edgy blood all over sandmans sand prison.

“ok heres the plan shadow.” tobey whispers edgily

“why should i work for u, whats in it for me” shadow says as he lets out a huge vape cloud.

tobey pulls a piece of pizza out frmo his greasy hair and offers it to shadow. whispering “puizza time”

although they have been divorced for 15 years, shadow is still touched by his ex boyfirends generosity. he grabs his gun and says alright we have to get to the brain to find diaper.

they fight their way past billions of sand golems and shit monsters and find dipper caked in sand. tobey digs him out and pees on sandmans brain, killing him once and for all as he dissolves into the pool which becomes a big beach because its sand and water.

ok so. shadow gets on his motorcylce and drives away into the sunset. Dipper realizes he’s 190,0000,0000 years old and turns into a withered old man. he turns his crusty head to tobey and says….this is my true form

“you’re beauitufl. ” tobey whispers

“i know…” dipper whispers. “but i may be out of time”

tobey pulls out a familiar box and whispers, “pziza time” and kisses dipepr.

the end


End file.
